Happy Wales Day

How do you get to Wales in a mini? One in the front and one in the back.

That’s one of my dad’s jokes that I’m looking forward to passing on to the next generation. And despite it being indisputably funny it has the added awesomeness of a second punchline. If someone replies ‘one in the front and one in the back’, you simply come back with ‘no, you go up the M5 and over the bridge.’

It’s win – win for me, and I’ll be finding that joke hilarious for the rest of my days.

Sophisticated humour aside, this is supposed to be a post about Wales. My favourite is the sperm whale. It has a comedy name and a head full of goo. Ha!

So, why Wales? Well, it’s St David’s day. Happy St David’s day…is that something we’re supposed to say? Anyway, we all know the story of St David… … um…yes, well, moving along, here’s an account of his most famous miracle.

The miracle of the small hill, or the hillock miracle. This miracle is a triumph of superfluous pointlessness, and a shameless display of a short sighted lack of planning and the use of the supernatural power of God to remedy a trivial problem that could have been easily solved by the act of a short walk.

St David was preaching a sermon in the midst of a crowd, no doubt explaining how the cheese makers were blessed, and several people at the back couldn’t see or hear him very well.

There was much muttering about the identity of the Greek who was going to inherit the earth,* and some people were wandering off to go to the stoning, when St David performed his famous miracle.

In a country where flat spaces are few and far between, poor St David had found himself preaching from the middle of one of these cursed lulls in the landscape, and rather than suggest the crowd just move a little to the left, he summoned up a little hillock from right out of the ground.

As God’s representative he deemed this a perfectly reasonable display of the power of the almighty, and indeed by granting the miracle God agreed with him that the most sensible course of action was to add another bump in the landscape of a country where you need climbing equipment to get to the garden shed.

Just to add an element of memorable comedy to the event, St David rose up on his little hill with a white dove on his shoulder. Reports of him standing on one leg and affecting a pirate accent are sketchy, but we can’t authoritatively rule it out.

Elsewhere though St David did a lot of good. Along with founding many monastic settlements throughout Wales he introduced everyone to his favourite vegetable – the leek, and wrote many jokes about them, such as;

Which vegetable is the enemy of sailors? The leek.


A man goes to the doctor with a leek sticking out of each ear. He asks the doctor what’s wrong.

After some deliberation the doctor replies “well, you’re not eating properly.”

So, I would like to conclude with a short mention of how Heidi and I love Wales, and the Welsh, and leeks. Hills we’re not so keen on but we accept them and understand their roll in society. In fact, we love Wales so much that at the end of the month we’ll hopefully be moving back there!

See you in Wales, and Happy Wales Day!

*this silliness is from the Life of Brian. I know that, you know that, but Heidi looked at me in puzzlement and asked “was St David Greek?”